My Butt Hurts, Bill Bryson

Wednesday, June 28th, 2017
Baltimore, Maryland

Really

The first sign that I was losing weight earlier this year was that my butt hurt. I would sit down on a chair and immediately get an uncomfortable sensation that something was pushing up on my butt bones (officially, the ischium). Apparently I have had plenty of padding there my entire life and so this was never an issue before. For those of you who are naturally thin, I guess you've been dealing with this for ages. The butt pillow industry (I am now a proud owner of one) must be firing on all cylinders. 

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ICE

Last week, I explained how rituximab (the R in my R/ICE regimen) works by coercing your own immune system into targeting and destroying malfunctioning B-cells (the home of my malignancy). But destroying those cells is only half the battle; you also need to prevent them from replicating before they are destroyed. Since they replicate faster than they can be destroyed, it is critical to prevent the replication. That's where ICE comes in.

In tag team fashion, they attack the DNA (critical to replication) inside those B-cells. Ifosfamide (the I) attaches itself to one of the two strands in the double helix, like a parking boot on an illegally parked car. Carboplatin (the C) inserts itself between the strands and grabs onto each, akin to chemical handcuffs. Lastly, etoposide (the E) weakens the strands, causing them to break apart easily. With this collective strangehold on the DNA, replication is defeated. Well, that's the intention, at least. 

I think that my head is smaller

I'm relatively confident that my skull is the same size, and in turn, my brain. But my head is definitely smaller. I have several fitted hats that I wear regularly that are clearly now loose. Since I was sporting a smooth scalp before all of this started, I can't blame it on any chemotherapy-induced hair loss. 

Now, I have sported a short beard for about a decade and that has definitely taken a hit recently. There are a couple of random patches missing and if I rub my chin while thinking deep thoughts, a collection of little whiskers comes off in my hand. Interestingly, the gray hair in my beard seems to be holding strong, as is my dark (not-yet-gray) mustache. If things keep progressing in this direction, I will look quite odd indeed with a bald head, dark mustache and gray beard. If that does comes to pass, I promise that I will share a picture. 

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Bill Bryson's "One Summer: America, 1927"

Bill Bryson is one of my favorite authors. Of his many books, I've read:

• ​A Short History of Nearly Everything (2004)
• A Walk in the Woods (2006)
• At Home: A Short History of Private Life (2011)

As for his writing style, I would summarize it as "David McCullough with a health dose of wry humor thrown in."

I've just finished Bryson's latest book, One Summer: America, 1927. It focuses on the confluence of extraordinary events that happened that summer. Among them those events were:

Charles Lindbergh became the first person to fly non-stop across the Atlantic Ocean and immediately became a hero of man-landing-on-the-moon proportions.
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Babe Ruth had his best season ever: 60 home runs, 164 RBIs, .356 batting average and a slugging percentage of  .772. In the fall, he lead the Yankees to a World Series sweep over the Pittsburgh Pirates.

The Model A was released by the Ford Motor Company after they had idled their factories for many months while the Model T replacement was designed and produced.

President Calvin Coolidge vacationed for the entire summer (three months) in the Black Hills of South Dakota, during which he made the surprise announcement that he would not run for re-election.

The Great Mississippi Flood occurred. It remains the single most destructive river flood in the history of the United States.

Sacco and Vanzetti were executed for the murder of two men during an armed robbery seven years earlier. To this day, their guilt remains unclear.

The boxers Jack Dempsey and Gene Tunney met at Soldier Field for a rematch. Over 150,000 people were in attendance and many millions more listened to a live radio broadcast.
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Construction began on Mount Rushmore in the Black Hills of South Dakota. President Coolidge actually took time out from his months-long vacation in those same Black Hills to attend the ground-breaking.

Al Capone was at the height of his illicit power in Chicago. He even intervened to help avoid a city-wide strike and was fêted by the mayor for his efforts.

Charles Ponzi went to jail for the infamous scheme that now bears his name.
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The Jazz Singer was released, cementing "talkies" as the wave of the cinematic future.
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The New York Federal Reserve decided to lower interest rates in an already "irrationally exuberant" stock market environment, which is widely acknowledged as the trigger of stock market crash two years later.
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Television technology (invented simultaneously in various countries) was finally proven practical and viable.

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Pictures

Tidbit

Most  people know two things about Charles Lindbergh:

1. He was the first person to fly non-stop across the Atlantic Ocean
2. His first-born infant son (Charles Jr.) was kidnapped and murdered.

What fewer people know (and I didn't know until I read that book) about Lindbergh was that the remainder of his life was definitely less than heroic. Specifically:

• He was a vocal and unapologetic supporter of eugenics
• He openly admired Adolf Hitler
• He had three secret mistresses in Germany (two of them sisters), by which he fathered seven more children (he had five with his wife after Charles Jr.) during the last 20 years of his life

​Yikes.

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